


I'll fight against the cosmos to be with you always

by wolfypuppypiles



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: 3x10, AU, Aftermath of Torture, Blood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Tag, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Hydra, I know how crap it is, Inhumans - Freeform, Mid Season Finale, Sad, Tragedy, Whump, casue she screamed a lot, casue they didnt do that for simmons which was weird, finale, he doesn't die tho, i dont like this one, if u like it, mamma may - Freeform, possibly multiple chapters, powers, quake - Freeform, simmons gets to choose, that would be too sad, will doesnt die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-05 23:00:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5393471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfypuppypiles/pseuds/wolfypuppypiles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wanted Simmons to be able to have the chance to choose between Will and Fitz fairly without Will being helpfully taken out of the equation so this is my (whumpy) take on what her choice could have been like.</p><p>Spoiler free mostly because mine is completely different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Agent Simmons flinched and hissed in pain Bobbi wrapped her ribs tightly. 

“Sorry. Broken ribs do hurt for a while and you’ve got three of them.”

“Don’t forget the two that are cracked.” She managed a small smile at her friend and sat still as the woman finished.

“Or the concussion and the bruising to your kidneys.” Agent Morse looked sympathetically down to where the biochemists hands were clenched tight to bed rail. Bobbi fixed the bandages in place before helping to ease the small woman back to the raised bed.

Once Hydra had gone into the portal the team had been able to take the base back fairly quickly as Ward was the only real threat in the Hydra gang anyway.

Simmons had been, reluctantly, taken to the Hydra med base in the castle for medical treatment, with a quinjet and the rest of the team standing by for when Fitz and Coulson came out of the monolith portal, to take everyone home. Jemma hadn’t wanted to leave but had been all but pushed to the med wing. 

“Yes, who knew telepathy could be used to squeeze your kidneys from the inside.”

Bobbi tucked her in gently and gave her a stern look.

“Now I know that you know how serious bruised kidneys are so I’m going to need you to stay in this bed okay.”

The biochemist nodded sullenly down at her lap but Bobbi dipped her head lower to catch the scientist’s eyes.

“I’m serious Jemma, no matter what happens when they get back from that portal you have to stay here.”

Simmons nodded with grim understanding. There was a high chance that Ward, with Hydra, would bring back the inhuman back. There was also the possibility that Fitz would bring back Will. Or that no one would come back at all.

“And Jemma…..I know a thing or two about torture and….. if you ever want to talk, I’m here.”

Simmons took her hand gratefully. 

“Thank you Bobbi.”

Both woman looked towards the door as noise broke out from down the corridor and Daisy appeared in the doorway. 

“Bobbi we need you. Now. It’s bad.” 

Bobby immediately started grabbing her gear, replacing her gloves with new sanitary ones.

“What is it? The inhuman? Did you get Will back? Who’s hurt?”

The girl shook her head. “No Inhuman and we got Will he’s okay. We have everyone accounted for and Ward and the other Hydra agents are all secured but….”

Simmons sat up in her bed and took in Daisy’s panicked appearance. A few small tears in her suit and layers of dust most likely from the opening of the portal. She was also covered in blood.

“Is that blood? Daisy, who’s is it?” 

Daisy looked at Bobbi desperately and Bobbi raised her chin and looked at Simmons. They all knew whose blood it was.  
Simmons immediately started throwing her blankets off and getting out of bed, cringing as she did so and almost crumpling to the ground as soon as her feet touched the floor.

Agent Morse hesitated towards Jemma but gestured to Daisy instead.

“Don’t let her get out of bed! I’ll take care of him Jemma!” She sprinted off down the hall leaving Daisy to gently wrestle the determined doctor back to bed.

“Jemma, let them take care of it. He’ll be okay.” 

Daisy actually had no idea if the beloved engineer would be okay or not. When everyone had been spat out of the monolith portal he had been thrown out of that swirling grey pool and thrown lifeless to the ground. Blood had quickly smeared and pooled around him and he hadn’t moved. 

Mack and herself had quickly detained the Hydra agents and a smug looking Ward after only a brief fight where daisy pretty much just threw everyone into the walls, being sure to slam Ward against the cold, ancient stone extra hard to wipe that smug smirk of his face.

Mack went to secure them all while Daisy turned around to see Coulson crawling towards the downed scientist. He had rolled the man over, supporting his lolling head, before pushing his hands onto the fast bleeding bullet holes in Leo’s chest. The man that Daisy supposed to be Will sat leaning against a wall with his hands over his mouth just staring at the Scotsman. 

Mack had finished with Hydra and started yelling orders into his communicator and Daisy knelt down beside Coulson to put pressure on the chest of one of her closest friends. Coulson’s hands had shook, with pain, fear, or anger Daisy hadn't known but the Director started rambling.

“The inhuman wasn’t there, just this huge Hydra symbol and an old city and time was running out and we had already been looking through all the locations Simmons and Fitz’s data had given us and Ward was getting desperate and Will said the Inhuman was drawn to blood and then Ward just….He just shot him.”

Daisy pushed harder, sending silent apologies to the unconscious scientist, as warm blood leaked from under her fingers, smearing everywhere. 

“It’s okay we’ll get Ward for what he did but we have to help Fitz. We have to get this bleeding stopped.”

Coulson’s hands had gone limp as they slipped from Leo’s chest, smearing even more red on himself. 

“I should have stopped him, I should have protected my team.”

“Coulson!” 

Mack put his hands under the Directors arms and gently dragged him away from the bloody mess, sitting him against the wall next to Will, before kneeling down next to Daisy.

“Looks like Coulson hit his head and he could be in shock from all this. I’ll radio May and Hunter to help with hydra and these guys.” He gestured towards the stunned Director and Will.

“And Daisy, I need you to go get Bobbi okay, she can fix this, she can help Fitz.”

She had nodded and reluctantly moved her hands away to allow Mack’s big, steady ones to cover the holes instead. Tossing one last look over her shoulder the agent had sprinted down the halls.

She had only just managed to wipe the still-warm blood off her hands and onto her pants before she entered the doorway of the medical bay.

Now, here she was, trying to get Simmons back to bed without hurting her but the woman was determined. 

“Daisy, let go, please! I have to be with him, I have to see him. He needs me!”

She was crying and Daisy could no longer stop her own tears because Leo’s blood was getting onto Simmons and after everything that they had been through it wasn’t fair. 

The biochemist was determined and broke from her hold, running as fast as her battered body would allow, winding through the halls and corners, Daisy following close behind, to finally arrive to the worst sight she could imagine.

Fitz was laying on the floor, face pale under his scruff, making the bruises and blood stand out far more painfully against his ashen skin. His kind, smart eyes were closed and his lips, the lips that she had finally tasted just a short time ago, were tinted blue. 

He was leaving her, even after he promised to come back. Daisy was calling at her from behind and Bobbi was yelling instructions at Mack while trying to do a hundred things at once in order to stabilize her patient. She could see Will sitting against the wall and spared a brief moment to appreciate that Fitz had saved him, had gotten him out alive but now Fitz was….

Kneeling down beside him, taking one of his cold limp hands from the floor she pressed his palm to her cheek, her tears trailing down his fingertips as she cried. 

“Fitz, please don’t go, you did it. You got everyone out just like you said you would but you can’t give up okay? We can finally stay together, finally be Fitzsimmons again.”

Her voice was cracking but she pressed on, smoothing a hand through his hair before trailing her fingers down the side of his face. His cheeks, stubbled jawline and finally his neck where his pulse fluttered weakly under her shaking fingers. 

“After everything Fitz, you…… you always chose me. Every time. You said you couldn’t lose me again and now you’re leaving. In that pod, in the ocean, when you said I was more than your best friend….I didn’t know how to respond but now I do. Fitz I choose you. I know it’s complicated and everything’s messy but our whole world has always been one big mess and I choose you.”

“You said you’d show me how much you loved me in that pod and you saved my life and now you need to show me again. Just stay with me Fitz, don’t go where I can’t follow.”

The Biochemist sobbed over her best friend’s body and her whole body was screaming at her to get off the floor and lie down. Daisy was still trying to tug her away from Leo but she was determined to stay.

“His hearts stopped!” Bobbi called out and everything crumbled. 

Simmons started screaming and Daisy finally got rough enough to pull her away, the engineers hand dropping from hers to smack onto the ground.

Bobbi and Mack struggled to help Fitz and Jemma watched on in horror. Daisy, finally letting go of Simmons, raced towards Leo and told everyone to step back. She placed her hands over the man’s chest and closed her eyes in concentration. 

Jemma was just screaming Fitz’s name at this point but Daisy concentrated on her hands. The vibrations she could feel around her were shut out of her mind until she could feel nothing but the pulsing vibration of life from the man she considered a brother. She let her powers focus and gather and unleashed them in a controlled jolt, making Fitz’s chest leap into the air in a bloody arch before smacking back to the ground with a sick wet thump. 

Placing her fingers against his neck Daisy sighed in relief, fresh tears wetting her cheek. 

”He’s alive.”

Bobbi and Mack went back to their work while Daisy came back to Simmons and gathered her up in her arms. Her sister cried as she clung to her, barely getting any words out between her sobbing.

“Thank you, thank you. You saved him.” 

Daisy nodded and leaned back to wipe both hers and Jemma’s cheeks. 

“He’s gonna be okay but we have to let them work. Let’s get you to a bed okay?”

Jemma still didn’t want to leave.

“No, I need to stay. He could-“

“No Jemma. You’re hurt too and you need to rest.”

Holding the woman close, the inhuman lifted them both from the floor, leading Simmons away from the messy sight of Bobbi and Mack getting Fitz onto a gurney.

Simmons hated leaving him but her body was exhausted and in bad shape. The crying was hurting her ribs so much she could barely breathe and she knew she needed to get to bed before she passed out.

Taking one last look before they turned the corner the biochemist prayed Fitz wasn’t right about the cosmos. Because she didn't want to be away from him ever again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will and Jemma have a talk about her choice of Fitz over him and May and Simmons talk about Andrew. (Briefly)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for everyone that left comments and kudos they made me so happy!   
> definitely keep them coming and I hope you guys like this one.

Agent Simmons sat in her hospital bed, Daisy sitting dutifully besides her holding her hand, waiting for news on Fitz. Jemma was grateful for the support and for the chance to rest properly after the last few horrible hours. Daisy once again handed Simmons her water bottle and gave her a look.

“Really Daisy?”

Rolling her eyes, the agent pushed the bottle further to the woman’s face.

“Yes Jemma. You need to stay hydrated; especially since you refuse to have an IV in.”

“Because then I wouldn’t be able to see Fitz when they’ve finished with his surgery. As soon as they are finished I will-“

“-March right in there sit beside his bed because you won’t be leaving him anymore. Yes, Jemma I know. Now drink your water.” Daisy finished while rolling her eyes.

Simmons had just finished taking a gulp of water, under Daisy’s watchful eye, when Will hesitantly stepped through the door.

“Um, Jemma I was hoping we could talk.” Daisy gave Simmons a ‘You okay with this?’ look to which the scientist nodded. Daisy patted the woman on the shoulder as she got up and left, giving the two some privacy.

“It’s good to see you again Will. I missed you a lot when Fitz got me out and I felt so horrible for leaving you there and –“

Will came closer and raised a hand to stop her apologies.

“It’s okay, I told you to go and you and Fitz got me out too so……it all worked out.” He looked at her, and there in the light of the medical bay, he looked like a different person. 

On Maveth there had been no sunlight; the planet permanently covered in darkness that left little to hope for. Now, in the artificial light, Jemma couldn’t stop staring. He looked so different. His clothes, so old and worn out, bloody tears in the fabric and ever fiber covered in dust. 

And his face, usually so hidden unless they were near the heated, glowing cracks in the cave, looked so worn and tired. He looked as if he had seen everything both Earth and Maveth could offer, and both planets had disappointed him.

The bright lights also showed the scars that she couldn’t see before. As close as they had gotten in that cave, both emotionally and physically, she had never noticed the numerous cuts and grazes all over him. She had quite a few herself now but this man had been on that planet for more than a decade and his skin was weathered more than it should have been for a man of his age.

“Will……” She didn’t know what to say. How could she even explain?

“Will, you saved me and protected me, and you helped me to survive on that miserable space rock and I will always be grateful but Fitz….”  
The man nodded, sitting down beside her with a somber but gentle expression.

“He’s more.”

Simmons could only nod and stare down at her hands, clean and pink and free of the dust covering every inch of him.

“Jemma, I was alone on that planet for so long and I believed that I would die, alone and forgotten, with no one to bury me. There was nothing in my future to look forward to except finally dying and being free from that thing and that planet. But then you came through that portal and found me ad everything changed.”

Jemma peeked up from her eyelashes as he continued to talk.

“You were determined and smart and so full of hope, which kind of annoyed me at first.” Simmons snickered as Will smiled.

“But then I realized, after so long of wishing I could see the sun again, I finally got to. Jemma, you lit up that whole planet with your smile and I have never loved a person more than when you laughed. You became my future.”

Simmons eyes were filling with tears and she wiped them away with quick fingers. 

“Will I’m sor-“

Will moved close enough to take her hands and gave her a small smile.

“You don’t have to be sorry Jemma. You promised to get me home and you did. Now I have sunshine and showers and real food and beds, and I have a whole earth of potential futures ahead of me. You’ve given me everything Jemma and I’m so grateful.”

The biochemist smiled and squeezed his hands. “Fitz and I would never leave you on Maveth, he was as determined to get you back as I was.”

“He’s a good man. You know, even when we were…. Together I guess, I could tell you still loved him. Did you know that you sleep talked about him almost every night? You said some other names too but you always said his name like even muttering it in your sleep would save you. It’s okay that you chose him.”

Tears spilled freely from Jemma’s eyes then and she lunged forward to hug the man in front of her.

“Thank you. I didn’t want to hurt either of you, I’m sorry this all happened.”

Releasing her from the hug, Will sighed tiredly.

“It’s not your fault. It’s okay.”

Will stood from his chair and cleared his throat. “So one of your team mates, May I think, is taking me to where I can start a new life. Thank you for saving me Jemma.”

Nodding, as if to himself, he walked away leaving Jemma in the quiet lab.

The woman wiped her eyes dry with her sleeve and carefully curled up on her side, snuggling under the blankets and closing her eyes. 

Quiet footsteps could be heard entering the lab after a while but Simmons didn’t bother seeing who it was. The person sat in the chair beside her and did nothing for a moment. After half a minute Jemma felt gentle hands on her hair, soothing her stress headache and calming her down. 

Tugging her blankets down a little revealed the person to be Agent May. The woman was still stroking her hand through Jemma’s hair while her eyes remained fixed on the wall in front of her, only looking down at her when the young agent spoke.

“I thought you were taking Will to his new life?” 

Melinda let out a tiny smile, hands still moving. “I thought I’d take a few minutes to see how you were doing.” 

Fresh tears sprang to the scientist’s eyes as she looked at the woman that was so much like a second mother to her. Simmons could see the pain in May’s carefully controlled face and the guilt she held spilled out of her.

“May, I’m so sorry about Andrew. He said he was in control and Hydra was and……I’m so sorry, it’s all my fault. Those poor In-humans are dead because of me.” 

Melinda’s face creased in sadness and concern but she didn’t blame the girl. 

“Jemma it’s alright. Andrew…..it wasn’t really him. That thing…Lash took over. You couldn’t have known who you were talking to when he looked like the person we trusted. You made a decision in a life or death situation and it came with more consequences than anticipated. It’s not your fault.” 

Simmons wanted to hug the older woman but settled for the shoulder pat that she got instead, too tired to do much more than lay there.   
May stood up and pushed Jemma’s hair away from her face once more.

“I’m glad you’re safe.” She left as quietly as she came, leaving one lonely half of Fitzsimmons to sleep in the quiet.


	3. Chapter 3

Fitz emerged from the darkness slowly and with dread because god, why did he hurt so much? There was a burning in his chest that helped to spark a memory of…….dust and..Ward? It was all fuzzy and he wished he had Jemma there to clear it up for him. Jemma. 

With just the thought of her his mind had cleared much of the fog and even brought her voice to him. He thought it might have been his imagination but soon knew it was real when he heard her sniffles and felt her hand in his. 

Concentrating all the energy his weak body possessed into his hand he squeezed back earning a surprised gasp from Simmons. He was tired but he needed to see her. Now that everything was clearer he could hear other sounds around him. Like the beeping monitors and the quiet but determined voices of Simmons and Daisy next to him. 

He could also feel the sharp intrusion of an IV in his arm and determined that to be the cause of the drug sludge in his head. Concentrating was hard, but he knew it would be worth it if only to see her for a moment.

His eyelids flickered. Light seeped through his eyelids, turning red and blinding him with bright white light when he squinted his eyes open. But his eyes focused and adjusted and there she was.

She was teary eyed but smiling and he felt his lips stretch into a similar shape. He could see Daisy eagerly peeking over Simmons’ shoulder and he looked at her bright smile, happy that she was there.

“Jemma” 

It was gravelly and his throat was dry but he had said it and she had beamed in pride and god it was good to see her smile. 

Bobbi had come in then and made Simmons leave so she could check him over. She had told Jemma off for something which made Simmons clutch a hand around her middle but he didn’t know what it was.

Fitz was still trying to understand what had happened when Bobbi reminded him. The monolith. Maveth. Ward. And Simmons had been tortured. He tried getting up from bed, rage burning from behind the fog of drugs but Bobbi only pushed him back and tucked him back in.

“Fitz, we got him. He’s not going to get away with it and Simmons is okay.” The engineer relented and stayed in bed because bloody hell moving hurt. 

Once he had been thoroughly checked over Bobbi went out and came back with Jemma and Daisy.

Both woman smiled and rushed to his bed, Simmons grabbing his hand while Daisy settled for a hand on his leg. 

“I’m so happy you’re awake Fitz I wasn’t sure….”

Daisy looked at Simmons as the scientist hesitated and quickly finished her sentence for her.

“It was looking pretty bad. We’re all so glad you’re okay. We were worried.”

Simmons had blinked away her tears and focused on his face again. 

“Yes. The others would be here but Coulson is recovering from his hit on the head and Mack and hunter are busy with clean up and containment of everyone. And May is taking Will to his new life. Thank you for saving him Fitz, I know it wasn’t easy but-“

The drugs were making Fitz’ head heavy and slow, like trying to wade through thick mud, but he managed to interrupt in time. 

“I promised. And you love him.”

Daisy looked at Simmons and bit her lip to hide her smile as Simmons blushed. Fitz creased his brow in confusion. She loved Will, he was sure about that so why were they looking at him like he had said something silly.

“Yes Fitz but umm. Do you remember anything after you were shot? Before you woke up?”

Leo searched his mind but he had hardly remembered being shot until Bobbi had told him. He shook his head. 

Simmons nodded and looked at Daisy for help. She only raised her eyebrows. 

“Well, I…….I’m sure we can talk about this later. You’re probably very tired and just want to rest so I’ll let you-“

Fitz interrupted again, a thought having popped into his head that decided to pop out of his mouth too despite him not really thinking about whether or not he wanted to know the answer. 

“You never told me why you left.”

Simmons looked shocked.

“What?”

“About why you left after my brain…um, you never told me.”

Daisy patted Simmons on the shoulder and smiled at Fitz.

“I’m glad you’re okay.” Then she left the two of them alone, Jemma looking quite guilty.

Fitz wanted to go back and take back what he said. He didn’t mean to take her smile away.

“Fitz I….Do you remember that afternoon when you were in the lab and you had been working on your coordination? You had been working on one particularly tricky piece for a while but could never get it and I peeked my head around the corner……. I saw you put it in perfectly. Your hands were steady and knew where it went. Coulson had come in and congratulated you. You talked to him too. You did so well, only a few stutters and when you couldn’t find the word you wanted you replaced it with something else or wrote it down. I was so proud. And then I walked in and you could barely get a word out. Your hands shook around your tea mug.”

Fitz nodded.

“I dropped it. Got tea on your shoes and the mug broke.”

Simmons nodded, looking like she wanted to cry again. 

“You weren’t getting any better with me there Fitz. I was making you worse. I left so that you could get better without me. And you did.” She smiled a little at the end because she was proud of him.

Fitz frowned. “So it wasn’t because you thought I was-?”

He didn’t finish his sentence but she knew what he meant. It wasn’t because you thought I was useless? It wasn’t because you didn’t care? It wasn’t because you didn’t love me?

“No of course not. I would have done anything to get you better but that anything just happened to be me leaving. I didn’t want to and I didn’t want to lie to you about it either, I just thought it would be easier for you if I.. I’m sorry Fitz.”

He squeezed her hand and met her eyes.

“I forgave you ages ago Jemma. And you didn’t make me worse, I was just nervous and embarrassed. I wanted to be better, I wanted to be me again and I told you how I felt but you didn’t feel the same way. Everything had changed, I hadn’t expected to survive and then you didn’t love me back. I had saved you but I was damaged… I didn’t work properly anymore.”

The combination of medication, exhaustion and emotion was making it hard for Fitz to get his words out. He had been holding them in for so long he could hardly stop them now.

“I just wanted you to care about me the way I did for you or at least be my friend again and it wasn’t going to happen while I was broken. I failed.”

Jemma had tears in her eyes again and her lip wobbled as she spoke.

“You didn’t fail-“

“Well Ward didn’t come back with hypoxia when he jumped out of the plane to save you.”

Simmons shook her head and looked determined as she wiped her eyes and looked at him.

“Fitz who used the EKG monitor to send a signal that brought Fury to us?”

“I did?”

Simmons smiled a little, still holding his gaze with her own.

“Who used the Oxygen canister to give me the Oxygen I needed to get us to the surface?”

“I did.” She came closer still. He could feel her breath warm his cheeks.

“Who helped me blow the window in?”

“Well that was your idea and-“

She smiled and interrupted him.

“Fitz. Who gave me hope in the face of death and made me laugh while trapped at the bottom of the ocean?”

Fitz remembered that conversation.

“A monkeeeyyy.”

She giggled at the same words he made her laugh with in that pod. She squeezed his hand and brought the other one up to his cheek. He was definitely awake now.

“Who is my best friend in the entire world?”

“Me?” He was breathing heavier now and she looked down at his lips. He looked in her eyes as she whispered. 

“Who dove through a hole in the universe for me?”

“Twice.”

Simmons inched forward and captured his lips with her own, their eyes closing as they lost themselves in each other. Fitz had his hand in her hair and savored the taste and shape of her. She was everything to him in this universe of uncertainty. And he kept her tethered to this world when all it wanted to do was tear her away. Jemma’s pain faded as she kissed him, all her focus on this one moment that she had been waiting for. 

Now he knew how she felt, they were on the same page, they could move forward together.  
They broke apart, hands still holding each other, with Simmons’ hand in his curls.

“What about Will?”

She shook her head and smiled. 

“I choose you Leo.”

Fitz pulled her in for another kiss, hardly caring about his injuries as he pulled her onto the bed with him. If all he had was this moment with her, before the universe tore them apart again, then he would spend every second of it holding her.

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is crap but kudos and comments are amazing and i love them so if you liked it maybe tell me? thanks 
> 
> oh and if u want another chapter let me know


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